Letters Never to be Sent #2
Somehow, this all saddens me, the finality of things.
I didn't think it would go this far. A friend advised me on silence, and so I will just keep quiet regarding the accusations you throw in my direction. But I thought you knew me better than that.
But I've only given up on three people in my entire life, and it saddens me to think that you're the third person. Because I cannot deal with your issues anymore, because you are hurting everyone who has ever loved you or cared for you by pushing them away. Can't you see that? Can't you see that you're building a wall around yourself, keeping everyone out, that you're climbing the ivory tower of your own making? One by one, people are disappering. Did you notice that? Are you going to claim exclusivity of friendships now? The less friends the better, because you think they're loyal?
You disappointed me. And yes, it was personal, because I put myself on the line to help you. I didn't know you would do that to me. It was a betrayal of sorts, and I don't know if you've ever realized how difficult it was to forgive you because of that. Because not only did you put my reputation and my name in jeopardy, you also delayed an entire publishing company's project. Do you realize how much money and time was wasted on that, or the tempers that flared and the angry words that were thrown in the air? No, you don't. Because you disappeared. You hid from the world while we were busy picking up the shit you left behind. Hell yeah, it was personal.
But that was a long time ago. And yes, that was forgiven already.
What really gets my goat right now is the way you are dealing with people right now. If you want to be exonerated from your accusations, be transparent. Face the people you're accusing right now - harap harapan na dapat ito, kung ganyan ka rin lang katapang mag-akusa ng tao. Because if you don't even have the decency to tell whatever it is to my face, then who are you and what right do you have to tell me that I am wrong and that you are right?
Friends don't do that. Friends never do that. You had my loyalty once, and my life. You had that. You held it in your hands. I trusted you.
I'm just sorry that things had to end this way.
I didn't think it would go this far. A friend advised me on silence, and so I will just keep quiet regarding the accusations you throw in my direction. But I thought you knew me better than that.
But I've only given up on three people in my entire life, and it saddens me to think that you're the third person. Because I cannot deal with your issues anymore, because you are hurting everyone who has ever loved you or cared for you by pushing them away. Can't you see that? Can't you see that you're building a wall around yourself, keeping everyone out, that you're climbing the ivory tower of your own making? One by one, people are disappering. Did you notice that? Are you going to claim exclusivity of friendships now? The less friends the better, because you think they're loyal?
You disappointed me. And yes, it was personal, because I put myself on the line to help you. I didn't know you would do that to me. It was a betrayal of sorts, and I don't know if you've ever realized how difficult it was to forgive you because of that. Because not only did you put my reputation and my name in jeopardy, you also delayed an entire publishing company's project. Do you realize how much money and time was wasted on that, or the tempers that flared and the angry words that were thrown in the air? No, you don't. Because you disappeared. You hid from the world while we were busy picking up the shit you left behind. Hell yeah, it was personal.
But that was a long time ago. And yes, that was forgiven already.
What really gets my goat right now is the way you are dealing with people right now. If you want to be exonerated from your accusations, be transparent. Face the people you're accusing right now - harap harapan na dapat ito, kung ganyan ka rin lang katapang mag-akusa ng tao. Because if you don't even have the decency to tell whatever it is to my face, then who are you and what right do you have to tell me that I am wrong and that you are right?
Friends don't do that. Friends never do that. You had my loyalty once, and my life. You had that. You held it in your hands. I trusted you.
I'm just sorry that things had to end this way.
posted by sundialgirl at 2:45 AM
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